Santa Claus may have come and gone for 2025, but he leaves his memory with us — especially us men. This week, I am expanding on a short story that has been circulating in some circles called “The Four Stages of a Man’s Life.” It’s quite accurate, and I am here to prove it.
The first stage of a man’s life is believing in Santa Claus. It was a magical time as a young child. Some of our earliest memories. Sure, we were still naughty, but we were nicer than normal because we knew an old man in a red suit was making a list and checking it twice. And, I really wanted that Evel Knievel stunt cycle.
The second stage of a man’s life is not believing in Santa Claus. There are a number of revelations in a man’s life when he discovers that things aren’t really what he thought they were. This was the first, and it was devastating. My siblings never told me, and neither did most of my friends — except little Johnny Cotten. We were in second grade and eating lunch in the elementary school cafeteria when he dropped the bomb on me, making me feel like I was the last one to know. And, maybe I was, but I could have gone another year or two without this realization. I remind John of this each time I see him.
The third stage of a man’s life is when he is Santa Claus. Maybe not the white beard, red suit and a workshop of elves, but, let there be no doubt, he is Santa. Listening to the wishes of his children. Shopping the crowded stores. Wrapping the presents in special paper. And making sure they are under the tree Christmas morning, awaiting the jubilation. I did just fine on most of those tasks, most years. But, one year, I was quite tired and told Jolene I would wake up early and put the presents under the tree. Our daughter, Samantha, woke up before I did and came into our bedroom crying. “Santa never came,” she exclaimed between the tear falls. “Let’s go look,” I replied frantically. “Maybe he put the presents somewhere else.” And, of course, we discovered that he put them in the basement. All was good.
The fourth stage of a man’s life is when he looks like Santa Claus. Yep. The gray hair and gray beard. The expanding waistline. An appreciation of milk and cookies. A yearning for tradition. And a strange fondness for reindeer. OK, maybe not the last one, but you get the idea.
That’s it. Four stages. And now, like some of you, I am in the final one and enjoying every minute of it.
Happy holidays to you all, and thank you for reading.
Shane Goodman
President and Publisher
Big Green Umbrella Media
shane@dmcityview.com
515-953-4822, ext. 305 |
