I have a foot fetish. But wait. Before you think I am more weird than I am, read on. It’s not so much a foot fetish that I have as a sock fetish — and not those trendy socks some guys wear with repetitive decorations on them. I have a thing for socks that keep my feet warm. That’s it.
Well, maybe it’s not that simple. I do have some requirements. I don’t like socks that droop like the skin on the neck of a French bulldog. I have enough things drooping at my age. And I don’t like the ones that are so tight they leave indentations on my legs and cut off the blood supply. I prefer to have feeling in my toes. Socks have to fit just right. It’s a Goldilocks and the three bears kind of thing.
I recall my dad’s socks, especially when he wore them with his green shorts and sandals on Sunday summers. The silky black dress socks contrasted nicely with his milky white legs. It wasn’t cool, but Dad didn’t care.
When I was a kid, I had a different take on socks than my father. Mine had to be angelic white and pulled up to my knees with a few horizontal stripes at the top. Those looked especially good with those tennis shoe/roller skates that I always wanted but never had.
Years later, socks went the other direction and were not to be over the ankle. This was fine for the summer months but allowed a bit of a draft to happen in Iowa’s winters. Some of these socks were white. Some were black. Many were other colors, too, but none even approached the calf.
When our children were teenagers, I would struggle to find my black dress socks. Our oldest daughter, Sara, seemed to like them and “borrowed” mine quite often. I am still trying to figure that trend out.
Today, I stock my sock drawer with supplies from hardware stores and farm stores. Those places seem to understand what middle-aged men want. Solid colors. Perfect tension. Up to the calf. And, most importantly, extra warm.
And they are not just for men. If Goldilocks wore socks, she would certainly approve, too.
Have a great week, and thanks for reading.
Shane Goodman
President and Publisher
Big Green Umbrella Media
shane@dmcityview.com
515-953-4822, ext. 305 | 
