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Wednesday, July 19, 2023
Good Wednesday Morning to You!

I wasn’t on the receiving end of many spankings as a youth. I may have thought I was at the time, but, looking back, they were minimal. My big brother Steve, on the other hand, took his share, and I learned a lot about what to do and not to do from observation.

Mom was the primary giver of spankings at our home. I only remember Dad giving me spankings once, and it was a result of Steve and me being reckless and breaking things. I knew I never wanted that again. Although Mom’s spankings were more frequent, they were much softer, too. She thought she was being strict when the yardstick came out, but it was mostly an act. In fact, Steve said Mom’s spankings didn't hurt at all, even with the yardstick. He told me to just let her do it and fake like they hurt. Most importantly, he said, was to not block the spankings by putting my hands in the way, because that did hurt. He was right.

Before I give you the wrong impression, you should know that spankings were few and far between from my parents — but they were memorable. I never felt abused or mistreated. I simply knew that I messed up and that there would be consequences. The guilt I felt over disappointing my parents was much worse than any pain from physical spankings.

As such, I parented much the same way. In fact, I had to ask my children if I ever gave them spankings and why. The two oldest said they recalled a few. The youngest said, “nope.”

But what about birthday spankings? Anyone remember those? They were to be fun spankings, if there ever was such a thing. Again, I remember watching my older siblings receive these. I never understood why something so pleasurable as a birthday would be ruined with something so unpleasant as spankings. At our home, a wooden breadboard with a short handle would come out at each of our birthdays, and the party guests would laugh as the birthday kid was placed over a knee and spanked. The laughs were the greatest the time when the board broke on Steve’s bottom. That board was likely 50 years old and glued together a few times prior, but it makes for a good story to this day. My birthday wish was to skip the birthday spankings. For the most part, the wish was granted.

For those of you not familiar with birthday spankings, the birthday boy or girl would typically receive a hand slap on the rear for each year of the child’s life. Beyond that number, a child would receive another spank “to grow on.” What in the world was that? I even remember “spanking machines” in elementary school when the birthday child would run through a line while fellow students gave him or her birthday spanks. Seriously. Can you imagine this happening today?

My words are not meant to condone or condemn spanking, as you all clearly have your own strong opinions. Instead, I want to simply to point out how quickly times and traditions have changed. As for the disappearance of birthday spankings, we can certainly be grateful. At least I am.

Have a wonderful Wednesday, and thanks for reading.

Shane Goodman
President and Publisher
Big Green Umbrella Media
515-953-4822, ext. 305

CITYVIEW's  Best Of Des Moines

CITYVIEW announced its 2023 Best Of Des Moines readers' choices Jan. 31. You can find all the results from the poll in the February issue of CITYVIEW magazine!

Best Local Sports Bar

1. The Station on Ingersoll

2. Cheap Seats Sports Bar

3. Johnny’s Hall of Fame


Read More

Your Clear Mortgage forecast

Slight storm chances will be with us today. Very warm and dry weather moves in after that, and it's looking to get hotter as we move into the upcoming work week and RAGBRAI.

For help with preapprovals or refinancing, get in touch with Carrie at carrie.mortgage.

Featured Home For Sale
Attention Realtors, post your listings here for $50. Contact jolene@iowalivingmagazines.com for details.
5051 Coachlight Drive
West Des Moines, IA 50265
Welcome home to a spacious 2 story home in coveted West Des Moines location with so many updates. New roof 2021, furnace/central air/water heater 2016! Entering you're greeted by an entryway with coat closet, 1/2 bathroom, and front flex space - perfect for formal dining, office or front sitting area that is open to the kitchen.
See More Homes For Sale

Des Moines Performing Arts (DMPA) announced a free, colorful, family-friendly and spirited performance in downtown Des Moines. SWAY’s “Bloom!” will explore themes of earth and nature, community, transformation, individuality and diversity — all while performers are atop 14-foot-tall poles.

Inspired by the beautiful flowers of the Smoky Mountains, “Bloom!” features the aerial antics of three highly skilled and equally colorful performers. Accompanied by an original soundtrack by Ania Reynolds, “Bloom!” celebrates the ephemeral and simultaneously beautiful nature of life.

SWAY is a Melbourne-based performing arts company that designs, produces and performs large-scale performances and site-specific installations fusing theater, dance and circus using a unique combination of sway-pole apparatus and bespoke performance equipment.

Nine performances are scheduled: Friday July 21, noon, 1:15 p.m. and 4:30 p.m.; Saturday, July 22, 9:30 a.m., 11:30 a.m., 1:30 p.m.; Sunday, July 23, 10 a.m., noon, 2 p.m.

The Fair Food Fridays Food Truck will be at Cowles Commons from 11 a.m. to 2 p.m. selling food for purchase on Friday, July 21.

Iowa Stage Theatre Company – at Salisbury House & Gardens. “Twelfth Night.” July 19-23, 7:30 p.m.

Urbandale Community Theatre – “The Drowsy Chaperone.” July 21-30.

— John Busbee, The Culture Buzz, www.TheCultureBuzz.com


Wall Street Journal investigated the discrepancies between manufactured food prices, which keep rising, and fresh food prices, which are not rising as fast as they did the previous three years. Basically, the explanation is that manufactured goods have longer, more complicated supply lines.

Gateway Market has ended its fried chicken service.

Krispy Krusty Chicken (1800 22nd St., West Des Moines) is now open. They are a Cajun style fried chicken chain similar to Chester's, operating within other businesses. In West Des Moines, it's a wine and liquor store.

— Jim Duncan


FROM KCCI: Metro emergency rooms are packed and wait times are hours long

Local emergency rooms are overwhelmed with patients this summer, with wait times that can be hours long. Jackie Wellman and her husband, who injured his arm and had a reaction to antibiotics, are the latest metro patients to find out emergency room waiting times are growing hour by hour.  READ MORE FROM KCCI

FROM WHO-TV: Former Iowa Hawkeye Cody Ince passes away at age 23 in Wisconsin

IOWA — Cody Ince, a former starter on the offensive line for the Iowa Hawkeyes, has passed away in his home state of Wisconsin at the age of 23. According to an online obituary, Ince passed away ‘unexpectedly’ at his home in Grantsburg, Wisconsin on Saturday. No cause of death was listed. ..READ MORE FROM WHO-TV

FROM WOI-DT Local 5: Tipsy Crow liquor license, Sheumaker's absence discussed at Des Moines City Council

Council members commented on Indira Scheumaker's absence, while Steven McFadden, owner of Tipsy Crow, loses a liquor license over "lack of good moral character." ...READ MORE FROM WOI-DT Local 5

Birthdays and Notables!

These celebrities were born on this date: Little Freddie King, Ilie Nastase, Abel Ferrara, Atom Egoyan, Campbell Scott, Anthony Edwards, Jason McGerr, Benedict Cumberbatch, Chris Sullivan and Jared Padalecki.

SUBMIT: Send your birthday greetings and congratulatory notes to: tammy@iowalivingmagazines.com

Morning Chuckle

The answer to yesterday's riddle:
What makes Civil Disobedience such a great work? IT IS THOREAU-LY (THOROUGHLY) EDITED!  - Peri Van Tassel, Gail Tomlinson

Today's Riddle

What do you call a duck that steals?

Have a guess? Email tammy@iowalivingmagazines.com

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