Most all of us spent time on a teeter-totter growing up, learning about balance and timing and force. I am still learning. A little more teeter and a little less totter. Or maybe it’s a little more totter and a little less teeter. I’m not sure. But I do know we can learn from that piece of playground equipment, starting with forgiveness.
I have many faults, but one that slaps me in the face the most often is my feeling to seek vengeance. When I feel wronged by someone, I want them to feel the pain I felt — and then some. It’s not a good quality, and I am working on it, with help and advice from others.
My parents divorced when I was young, and this was difficult for both of them but especially my father, who had every right to be angry and seek vengeance. He didn’t, and I often wondered why. He rarely talked about the divorce, but one day he sat down with me and explained that he had to make a choice. He could be angry the rest of his life, or he could make the best of the situation so he could spend as much time as possible with his family. That included building a friendship with my mother’s new husband. That’s a forgiveness few people would be willing to attempt.
I had a former employee who I found out stole from me. I gave her the opportunity to repay it, but she ignored my requests. I was prepared to take her to small claims court and was convinced I would win the judgement even though I would likely never receive payment. I didn’t care. I wanted her to pay for her decision, one way or another. My friend Greg convinced me to do otherwise. He told me it would be negative energy that would take time away from doing positive things, and he said she would have enough pain and misery coming her way without me piling more on her. He was right.
Sometimes we may not be able to truly forgive, but we can at least make an attempt to forget. My mother and her brother didn’t talk for decades, mostly due to the divorce I mentioned previously. They were equally stubborn siblings. But as the years went on, they slowly reconnected. When my uncle lay in a nursing home in his final days, my mother sat by his side, holding his hand, sharing childhood memories and praying. She told me she was glad she was able to be with him, and although he was no longer respondent, I have a feeling he was glad she was there, too.
Whether you are a person of faith or not, you can appreciate the words in the “Our Father” prayer that state, “Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.”
Teeter. And totter. You can’t successfully do one without the other.
Have a wonderful Wednesday, and thanks for reading.
Shane Goodman
President and Publisher
Big Green Umbrella Media
shane@dmcityview.com
515-953-4822, ext. 305
www.thedailyumbrella.com
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