I have often poked fun at my wife for making me transport the same bag of rocks in three different house moves over the years. “They are to put in the bottom of flower pots,” she insistently told me. “I can find new rocks when you need them,” I insistently replied. I did not move them a fourth time.
Jolene has a similar criticism for me about a certain box of wires that I have had for a few decades and continue to hang on to. Stereo speaker wires. Cable TV wires. Patch wires for old stereo components. But not just wires. Cables and cords, too. Computer monitor cables. TV electrical cords. iPad charging cords. In that box, as well, are floppy disk and zip drive players — and their related cables and cords.
Jolene even felt a need to take a Sharpie and write “WIRES” on the outside of the box. Like I didn’t know what was in there?
I know I am not alone with this collections of wires. Many of you men who are reading this can certainly relate, and your wives will attest to it.
Stand-up comedian Nina Tarr recently busted us men on this seemingly odd collection. In an Instagram video titled “Men Love Wires,” she explains how men are obsessed with keeping a box of random cables at all times. The video has more than 2 million views. If you click through and watch it, beware, as it is a bit salty. Here is an edited excerpt:
“Every man here has a box of wires and cables that travels with him from place to place, from apartment to apartment,” Tarr said, looking at her audience. She pointed to a man in the crowd and asked if he kept a box of wires. He apparently nodded, and she then apparently pointed to his female companion and said, “And you’re like, ‘You gotta get rid of these!’ And he’s like ‘Babe, what if someone comes over and needs a Nokia charger from 1998?’ ”
Tarr also pointed out how men hoard these wires and cables while not keeping things they need — like Band-Aids. Then she mocked us men again — for having firewire cables instead.
As much as I hate to admit it, Tarr may be right. I will probably never need anything from that box of wires. Even so, I refuse to get rid of it. And, keep in mind, if we ever move again, that box of wires weighs a lot less than a bag of rocks.
Have a magnificent Monday, and thanks for reading.
Shane Goodman
