If you are a man who does his best to dress appropriately but fails miserably, you may enjoy this column. And if you are a woman who does her best to dress her man appropriately but he still fails miserably, you may like this one, too.
Most all of us can remember being a youngster and wearing something we thought looked fine only to have the opposite pointed out by those whom we thought were our friends. In the junior high growth-spurt days of boys, this was often reflected in the length of our pants. If the bottoms dragged on the ground and wore out, all the better. The last thing a boy that age wanted to be seen in were short pants, which were not-so-fondly referred to as “floods” or “high-waters.”
Girls could get away with short pants and look stylish by simply calling them capris. That didn’t work for the cardboard Levi’s on rural Iowa teenage boys.
I still struggle with pant length. Too long. Too short. Never just right. It’s the Goldilocks dilemma. Jeans don’t seem to be a problem, but most everything else is. Even when pants fit perfectly at the store, they seem to rise up after a few washings. Or I am still growing.
I found a website that seems to have the answers — four of them, in fact. It’s called He Spoke Style, and it addresses proper pant length, noting that the amount of “break” is ultimately a personal style choice and a matter of preference, aesthetics and body type. Here are what the site names as the four most common pant breaks and hemlines:
1. No break. This is where the pant leg “just kisses the top of the shoe and looks best with a well-defined taper.” It says you are “modern, hip, care deeply about precise tailoring and aspire to be a fashionable European gentleman.” It looks best on “slim dudes, short dudes, Italian guys, wannabe Italian guys, young bucks, and the fashion set.” Clearly, not me.
2. Slight break. If you “want to be a bit contemporary, the slight break is for you.” This looks best “without a cuff and with the back of the pant leg angled a little longer than the front.” It says you “understand that fit is everything and desire to be contemporary and up-to-date, but not trendy.” It looks best “on pretty much everyone, slim (not cropped or skinny) trouser widths, and the modern businessman.” Maybe me, but probably not.
3. Medium break. This is for those “with a more conservative style who don’t want a tapered or slim trouser and want to go with a cuff.” It says you are “serious about style and have a quality tailor with a conservative approach that you respect and embrace.” It looks best on “middle-aged guys, conservative businessmen, and gentlemen carrying around a little extra weight.” This is starting to sound familiar.
4. Full break. To pull off this style and for it to look right, the pant leg needs to be “wider than most with a decent amount of fabric pooling at the ankle.” It says you are “either older, wiser, heavier and stylistically conservative, or you live in your own private and perpetual Jazz Age Lawn Party.” It looks best on “older gentlemen, heavier gentlemen, wide-leg trousers, and vintage/throw-back dudes.” I don't even know what a Jazz Age Lawn Party is, so this is not me.
Let's be honest. The more accurate label for me and many of you reading this is one that is not listed, and it is called Tough Break, which means we wear whatever is clean and in our closet — as long as they are not floods or highwaters.
Have a marvelous Monday, and thanks for reading.
Shane Goodman
President and Publisher
Big Green Umbrella Media
shane@dmcityview.com
515-953-4822, ext. 305
www.thedailyumbrella.com
See Shane Goodman's other columns here. |
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Clear Mortgage meteorology
It’ll be another cool day, and we could see frost around the area both Tuesday and Wednesday mornings. A warmup follows through the end of the work week. We’ve got a slight rain chance Saturday.
For help with pre-approvals or refinancing, get in touch with Originating Branch Manager Carrie Hansen at carrie.mortgage. |
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| Pick up your October CITYVIEW magazine, available on racks across the metro. | | | CARS IN THE CITY
Autocross at the Valley West Mall parking lot
By Jackie Wilson
“Come race with us,” they said. “We’ll show you what it’s like to experience a thrilling ride.”
Three of the men I recently interviewed for Iowa Living magazines articles on racing sports all offered me a ride-along in their race cars. Would I be interested?
In earlier columns, I wrote about a 2022 Chevy Corvette drive, where I hit 100 mph, and a 2024 Challenger Scat Pack, which accelerates from 0 to 60 in 4.9 seconds. So, yes, thank you, I’d love a ride in a race car. | | | READ MORE |
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The 2024 results ...
CITYVIEW's Best Of Des Moines® | | | Best Local Place To Get Your Eyelashes Done
1. Pure Salon
2. Star’s Beauty Bar
3. Dollhouse Lash and Brow
Read all the 2024 results.
Cast your votes in the 2025 Best Of Des Moines Poll now! Open until Nov. 22. Results to be published in the February 2025 issue of CITYVIEW.
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| Featured home for sale | | |
$240,000 1607 38th St., Des Moines, IA 50310
You're going to love everything about this charming three-bedroom, two-story home that's located in a family-friendly neighborhood nestled by Witmer Park and the Beaverdale shopping and entertainment district. The large and open main level has hardwood floors and beautiful crown molding. Also on the main level is a freshly painted half bath. The kitchen features tile floors and laminate countertops, with all appliances staying with the home.
See the listing here.
| | | See More Homes For Sale |
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| SOLD: Featured commercial real estate transaction | | | 4210 E. 14TH ST., DES MOINES
SALE DATE: 2024-07-15
SALE PRICE: $1,143,132
SELLER: PINE GROVE-DES MOINES LLC
BUYER: REAL ESTATE HOLDINGS VII LLC
ACRES: 5.590
SQUARE FEET: 468 |
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Wall Street Journal’s think tank “The Future of Everything” released their findings focused on food. Here are summaries of two: Farmers are running out of chemicals to fight resistant weeds that threaten food crops. Bayer is leading a charge to develop new chemicals to keep weeds, fungi and insects at bay. New AI systems are helping speed up the lengthy and costly process of bringing new chemicals to herbicides and insecticides — similar to how drug companies are using AI to speed up the search for molecules that target a particular disease. Companies say an advantage of having molecules selected with AI is that they can be screened during the process for toxicity to humans — a critical point for pesticides sprayed on crops people will eat — as well as environmental safety and cost.
Companies are tweaking the potato’s DNA to make it more nutritious and plentiful—even working on a block-shaped spud to maximize French fry yields. The king of the American potato diet is the Russet Burbank, but it’s a geriatric by the fast-moving standards of modern agriculture. Crop developers see potential to improve its health profile among consumers. Using gene-editing technologies that allow scientists to tinker with a plant’s DNA without adding outside genetic material, researchers use proteins to switch off specific genes, then grow the edited cells into enhanced potato plants.
Monday deals
• Centro (1003 Locust St., Des Moines) offers half-price pizza and Peronis on Monday.
• Who's on First (810 E. First St., Ankeny) has steak night on Monday, and it's an 8-ounce filet with salad, mashed potatoes and beans for $22.95
• Pelican Post (265 50th St., West Des Moines) has a special today on hot beef sandwiches, $10.95 until 4 p.m.
• Eastside Eddie’s (3517 E. 26th St., Des Moines) Monday $10 special is ham and Swiss sliders with fries.
• Tito’s Lounge (3916 Urbandale Drive, Urbandale) offers all-you-can-eat wings Mondays
• Trostel's Greenbriar (5810 Merle Hay Road, Johnston) offers half-pound steak burgers with fries or salad and a beer for a Monday-only price of $14
• Monday brings prime rib specials to both Chicago Speakeasy (1520 Euclid Ave., Des Moines) and Christopher's (2816 Beaver Ave., Des Moines).
• Johnny's Hall of Fame (302 Court Ave., Des Moines) has $12 burger baskets on Mondays and Fridays.
• Urban Cellars (640 S. 50th St., West Des Moines) offers $60 wine dinners for two on Mondays including two entrees with soup or salad, a dessert and a bottle on wine.
• Fareway has St. Louis pork ribs on sale this week for $1.99/pound.
— Jim Duncan, jd91446@aol.com |
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| Featured in the current issue of Bondurant Living magazine | | | Meet Kelly Obley
Special education teacher and basketball coach
By T.K. West
After graduating from Norwalk in 2008, Kelly Obley attended Northwest Missouri State University where she studied education and played soccer. She then taught for 10 years in Missouri before returning to Iowa. Now, she has entered her first year with the Bondurant-Farrar Community School District as a high school special education teacher. She says she is grateful to be back home in central Iowa and at the Bondurant-Farrar District.
“Everyone has been so welcoming and helpful. From the students to the staff and the Bondurant-Farrar community, there is a great energy and enthusiasm that is a lot of fun to be a part of,” Obley says. | | | READ MORE |
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FROM KCCI: Iowa man drives thousands of miles to help transport supplies for hurricane victims. EARLHAM, Iowa — An Iowa man is wrapping up a weeklong trip across the county to help people impacted by recent hurricanes. Kevin Zehr, of Earlham, left the Hawkeye State Friday for Oklahoma. He stopped there to pick up supplies that had been donated to a local organization there. He then took his truck and drove all the way to Florida to drop it off to areas impacted by Hurricane Helene. ...READ MORE
FROM WHO-TV: How to recognize seasonal depression and what resources are available locally. DES MOINES, Iowa — In less than a month clocks will be set back making it darker even earlier. With the change in season, time, and daily sunlight it is important to be aware of how the changes can impact one’s mental health. ...READ MORE
FROM WOI-DT Local 5: Madison County turns to tourists to raise $3.7 million for historic bridges. The bridges are covered in graffiti and many of the structural beams and floor boards are starting to crack. ....READ MORE |
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WNB: MIN 66 NY 80 Series tied 1-1
MLB: NYM 0 LAD 9 LAD leads series 1-0
NFL Sunday Night: CIN 17 NYG. 7
ESPN: Lions edge rusher Aidan Hutchinson carted off with broken tibia. ... READ MORE
SPORTS ILLUSTRATED: The Liberty Can't Be Lulled By Lynx's Sloppy Game 2 Performance ... READ MORE
CBS Sports: WATCH: Raiders' Maxx Crosby shoves coach during loss to Steelers, downplays 'love push' after game ...READ MORE |
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1912: Theodore Roosevelt shot in Milwaukee. Before a campaign speech in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, presidential candidate Theodore Roosevelt is shot at close range by saloonkeeper John Schrank while greeting the public in front of the Gilpatrick Hotel. Schrank’s .32-caliber bullet, aimed directly at Roosevelt’s heart, failed to mortally wound the former president because its force was slowed by a glasses case and a bundle of manuscript in the breast pocket of Roosevelt’s heavy coat—a manuscript containing Roosevelt’s evening speech. Schrank was immediately detained and reportedly offered as his motive that “any man looking for a third term ought to be shot.”.... READ MORE
1975: Trial begins in Amityville murders. Ronald DeFeo Jr. goes on trial for the killings of his parents and four siblings in their Amityville, New York, home on October 14, 1975. The family’s house was later said to be haunted and served as the inspiration for the Amityville Horror book and movies.... READ MORE
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| Birthdays and notables | | | Happy Birthday Curt Thornberry!
These celebrities were born on this date: Cliff Richard, Ralph Lauren, Usher, Lori Petty, Rowan Blanchard, Stacy Keibler, Steve Coogan, Jay Pharoah, La Monte Young, Benh Zeitlin, Harry Anderson, Jared Goff
SUBMIT: Send your birthday greetings and congratulatory notes to: tammy@iowalivingmagazines.com |
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The answer to yesterday's riddle:
What do you call someone who imitates your fall centerpiece? A CORNU-COPIER! - Kris Laurson, Randy Lagerblade, Gail Tomlinson, Carolyn Rogers. Other answers from Rex Post
Today's riddle:
Who lives in the scary Hundred-Acre Wood?
Have a guess? Email tammy@iowalivingmagazines.com |
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To advertise in the Daily Umbrella or the Johnston Living magazine or weekly, contact:
Andrea Hodapp
Account Executive
Office: 515-953-4822 ext. 322
Mobile: 515-883-0523
andrea@iowalivingmagazines.com
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