“Sign, sign. Everywhere a sign. Blockin’ out the scenery. Breakin’ my mind. Do this, don’t do that. Can’t you read the sign?”

Those were the words of Five Man Electrical Band in 1971. I was more familiar with the version by Tesla in 1990, but the message is the same. The lyrics made sense to a lot of people then, and they still do today.

On my admittedly short 2.2-mile, 6-minute commute to work yesterday morning, I counted 148 signs, not including any on vehicles. I surely missed some, but you get the idea. That’s a lot of signs. Stop signs. Street signs. No parking signs. Traffic signs. Election signs. Road closed signs.

We have all these signs to show us where we are and what we are to do (and not do), but we still get lost and do the wrong things. You have heard the phrase, “Sometimes, you have to spell it out for people.” That’s exactly what signs do, yet, we struggle. Don’t think so? Ask a police officer how many citations are issued to people who ignore what is posted on signs. Better yet, ask how often these violations happen and citations are not issued.

We created an entire generation of people who can’t read a paper map. Granted, most all of us struggle to fold them back together, but to not be able to read a map? What have we done? Most map-illiterates rely on GPS software on their phones or in their cars for directions. I appreciate these as well. They work. Until they don’t. Then I pull out a paper map. My friend Jeff says schools should teach kids how to read maps. Good idea. Maybe signs, too.

Some locales far different than ours here in Iowa have problems with lighted signs disorienting seabirds and turtles. Government entities implemented restrictions on these signs to address the problems. I was on an island several years ago where neon signs were banned. Actually, the lack of these signs was quite nice. Pigs in confinement buildings are apparently not bothered by neon signs. Whew.

Don’t get me wrong. I don’t want to ban signs, not even neon ones. That would impact way too many country music songs.

My friend Mike runs a business that makes signs. He has made several for me, and he does a great job. We need people like Mike, and we need signs. But what we need more than signs are people to actually read signs and do what they say. Everyone. Even “long-haired freaky people.”

Have a wonderful Wednesday, and thanks for reading.

Shane Goodman
President and Publisher
Big Green Umbrella Media
shane@dmcityview.com
515-953-4822, ext. 305
www.thedailyumbrella.com

See Shane Goodman's previous columns here.

CIVIC SKINNY
Polk County’s ‘true’ homeless rate. Favorite make-out spots. And a win for the rooster

By CITYVIEW staff

The Des Moines City Council’s proposed ban on camping within city limits, which criminalizes encampments of the city’s homeless, has raised the ire of some citizens and has been delayed and amended several times.

To recap, in June, the U.S. Supreme Court ruled that cities could ban people from sleeping or camping in public places. In late July, the Des Moines City Council proposed that violators could be fined $120 and be given 24 hours to remove their belongings rather than the original 10 days. Since then, the ordinance has been changed to a fine of $50 and three days to remove belongings and requires the city to store property removed for up to 30 days. Where these items would be stored and how much it would cost to store them remains unclear. With continued pushback, the third reading of the ordinance has been pushed back to the Sept. 16 council meeting.

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SALE PRICE: $171,000
SELLER: ROBINSON, MICHAEL JAMES
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Meet Kim Alowitz
Supporting students and teachers

Kim Alowitz has been teaching for more than 20 years. She began her teaching career at Des Moines Public Schools and taught there for nine years before teaching for a year overseas in Japan. She came back to Iowa to the West Des Moines Community School District in 2014. She has been a classroom teacher at a variety of levels, reading interventionist, math interventionist and ESOL teacher.

Alowitz has attended Grand View University and Drake University, earning a bachelor’s degree in elementary education, two master’s degrees and endorsements in reading and English as a second language. Currently, she is the instructional coach at Clive Learning Academy.

[...]

Happy Birthday Brian Cheese!

These celebrities were born on this date: Brian De Palma, Harry Connick Jr., John Hawkes, Laura Wright, Ludacris, Taraji P. Henson, Virginia Madsen, Moby, Tommy Shaw, Mickey Hart, Scott Patterson

SUBMIT: Send your birthday greetings and congratulatory notes to: tammy@iowalivingmagazines.com

The answer to yesterday's riddle:

Why should you thank your arms? BECAUSE THEY ALWAYS GIVE YOU A HAND! - Shane Goodman, Lori Bluml. Or, BECAUSE THEY ARE ALWAYS AT YOUR SIDE. - Nick Ruiz, Gail Tomlinson.

Today's riddle:
Why is Cinderella bad at playing soccer?

Have a guess? Email tammy@iowalivingmagazines.com

To advertise in the Daily Umbrella or the Ankeny, Bondurant and Indianola Living magazines, contact:

Angela Ossian
Account Executive
Office: 515-953-4822 ext. 307
Mobile: 515-979-5585
angela@iowalivingmagazines.com

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