The key to keys. That’s what I am trying to figure out, as I gaze in frustration at the dozens of keys in front of me right now that I have absolutely no idea what they are for. As tempted as I am to throw them away, I fear that I may truly need them someday to unlock something. Can you relate?

Keys have certainly changed over time, and they keep changing. The first keys started with locks in ancient Egypt more than 6,000 years ago — and they were made of wood. Seriously.

Today’s keys aren’t keys at all, at least not for vehicles. These loaf-of-bread-sized “fobs” are handy with the electric ignition start, remote locking/unlocking and flying mechanism (OK, I made the last one up), but, as many of you know, they aren’t very comfortable to place in your pocket. And when you do, you are likely to set off the alarm (at least I am).

I wrote a column a few years ago about this frustration and how I started clipping my keys to a carabiner on my belt loop. My problem was solved, except for the other fob I need to open the doors to our office. I am not tall enough to get the carabiner close to the entry port to let me in. Then I thought of Schneider, the maintenance superintendent in the 1970s TV sitcom, “One Day At A Time.” I took a cue from him and bought one of those pull-string key chains. Another problem was solved… until the string snapped. Now I am back to the carabiner and have learned to stretch on my tippy-toes with a calf-cramp to get to the proper height.

If you happen to own a business, you know the frustration and cost involved in collecting keys from employees who quit or are fired and the need to re-key the locks if they don’t turn those keys in. A decade or so ago, we decided to go with the fob system, so we can now simply de-activate the fobs if they are not returned. Those little fobs are cheap to replace. The vehicle fob? Not so much.

I have to admit that I miss the simpleness of the old keys. I remember going to work with my dad as a child, and we were looking at an old farm house that he was going to tear down. As we walked through what was left of the home, I noticed old iron keys in the key holes. I had never seen “skeleton” keys before. The property owners told this 5-year-old kid that I could have them, so I gladly collected them all. I wish I could find them now. They are probably stowed away somewhere behind a lock that one of these keys I am staring at right now might open. Ugh.

I recently purchased a hand engraver and have started marking keys so I know what they go to (house, garage, shed, treasure chest, etc.). This helps with each new key, but I still don’t know what to do with all the old ones. As such, the search for the key to managing all these keys continues.

Have a marvelous Monday, and thanks for reading.

Shane Goodman
President and Publisher
Big Green Umbrella Media
shane@dmcityview.com
515-953-4822, ext. 305
www.thedailyumbrella.com

CITYVIEW announced its 2023 Best Of Des Moines readers' choices Jan. 31. You can find all the results from the poll in the February issue of CITYVIEW magazine!

Best Local Seafood

1. Waterfront Seafood Market

2. Splash Seafood Bar & Grill

3. Laughing Crab

SEE EVENT PHOTOS HERE...

Your Clear Mortgage forecast from Jason Parkin

It’ll be breezy most of the week. Highs will be in the 30s today and tomorrow, warming to the 50s on Wednesday. Rain moves in Thursday, changing to snow Thursday night. St. Patrick’s Day looks windy, with flurries possible.

For help with preapprovals or refinancing, get in touch with Jason at parkin.mortgage

Taking it a little bit at a time

Warburtons tackled the kitchen first

By Colson Thayer

Tom and Stephanie Warburton lived in Altoona for many years while they raised their kids in what was once a small school district. But, as their kids grew older and graduated high school, their need to stay in Altoona vanished. In 2020, the couple began looking for a new place to call home. Together, they looked for houses on the west side of the metro to be closer to their family, including a daughter who recently moved to Waukee and Stephanie’s father who lives in Winterset.

They explored communities like Grimes, Urbandale and Clive until Savannah, their daughter, pointed them to a house in her own neighborhood.

“It just was drab,” says Stephanie.

The house did not impress the couple at first, especially the kitchen, which they say they “hated.” But the house was within their price range and big enough to have gatherings yet small enough to be manageable as they age.
And so, the house became the Warburtons' in November 2020. Then, the real work began.

... Read more in the February issue of Waukee  Living magazine.

These celebrities were born on this date: Kaya Scodelario, Mikaela Shiffrin, Tristan Thompson, Dana Delany, William H. Macy, Common, Noel Fisher, Emile Hirsch, Annabeth Gish, Jordyn Jones, Charo, Emory Cohen

SUBMIT: Send your birthday greetings and congratulatory notes to: tammy@iowalivingmagazines.com

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